Spend Time With You

I haven't really felt like myself lately. Partially because I haven't really gotten the chance to spend time with me. I work a lot and on the days I'm off I'm either with my friends or my boyfriend. I probably get a few hours to myself before I go to work. Then, most days when I get off work I'm heading straight to my friends house. I haven't made time for me. Or for this blog. I haven't spent time with God as much either. I'm still learning how to balance everything. Yesterday and today I got to spend time with me and its been great. I cooked, watched tv, danced in the mirror, and just had fun by myself overall. I wrote an apology letter to myself a few weeks ago. Because I felt like I had been neglecting myself. Allowing myself to be pushed beyond my limits sometimes. Not eating or sleeping enough. I'm just now starting to get into that groove of putting myself first sometimes. Being selfish a little bit. Because if I don't my own mental health will suffer. I'm no good to anyone if I don't take care of myself first. Anyway, in the spirit of being transparent I would like to share my letter to you all. Maybe it'll resonate with some of you.

Dear Mercedes,

This is an open apology letter to you. I'm sorry for neglecting you. For putting everyone elses needs before yours. For focusing so much on balancing everything that you got lost in the midst. I'm sorry for not making you a priority. Before your friends, before your boyfriend, before anyone else. You're important too. I was so focused on being a good friend, a good worker, a good daughter, and a good girlfriend that some of your needs got ignored. I wasn't focused on you and I should've been. I promise from this day on to be a better friend to you. To hold you in the highest regard and to never neglect you again. I promise to make time for you even if it means not seeing my friends or my boyfriend. Even if I have to call off for a day just to spend some time with you, I'll do that. I'm so sorry it got to this point and I pray it never does again. I love you too much for that.

Love,

Mercedes

This is my first time reading it since I wrote it. I have been doing a little bit better actually. Its still a learning process though. But making time for yourself is important. As quick as you'll be there for a friend that needs your help is as quick as you should be there for yourself. Its okay to say no sometimes. To want to spend all day or even an entire weekend by yourself. I'm thinking about taking a weekend and unplugging from everyone to just spend time with me and God. That'll be very therapeutic for me. Don't forget to make yourself a priority. Your mental health matters too. You can't help someone else in need if you're burnt out yourself. Spend some time with you. Whether that looks like reading a book or dancing in the mirror or cooking your favorite meal, do whatever makes you happy. Whatever it is that grounds you and makes you feel connected to yourself. Its definitely worth it.